


Impulse Makes People Do Odd Things

by Ashcantwrite



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Eddie and Myra argue a lot, M/M, most of the fic is pre-chapter 2, this is very long and I didn't really proof read most of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 18:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21306734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashcantwrite/pseuds/Ashcantwrite
Summary: Eddie makes five impulsive choices that confuse him, and one impulsive choice where it all starts to make sense.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 75





	Impulse Makes People Do Odd Things

Eddie would never call himself an impulsive person. He definitely wasn’t the type to randomly buy things in stores just because he thought it looked cool. Part of that is just because that’s the type of person he is, part of it was also from growing up with his mother. She never let him buy things just because he simply wanted it, half the toys and knick knacks he had growing up were gifts from his friends. As an adult, that didn’t change. He bought only what he needed, most of the decor/random things in his house belonged to his wife, Myra. He never outright said that he didn’t like how the house looked, but he hated how the house looked. Myra’s idea of decor was basically baby proofing the whole house, more like ‘Eddie proofing’ it. Every floor had to be carpeted, every door and window had to have a lock on it. Even Eddie, who analyzes risks for a living, thought she was a bit overbearing with how protective she was. If Eddie had bought something for himself, she would either yell at him for wasting their (his) money, or ask a million questions. Neither sounded worth going through for a small purchase, so he never impulsively bought anything.

  
  


**#1 - Books**

After work one day, Eddie had to run by the store to pick up something as simple as a new water bottle. He accidentally dropped his while at the gym and Myra made him throw it out. As he entered the building, he noticed that they had rearranged the layout,  _ again _ . He wandered around the store trying to find where the hell they had put the water bottles this time. He seemed to have found every isle but the one he needed. He had found the snacks, towels, even the isle with the coffee machines. The last isle he had found was the books, and just like the last few isles, he walked through it like he had meant to find this on purpose. He of course knew that a water bottle wasn’t going to be within the damn books, but he still looked around. All the book covers made everything look like a kids book or a shitty romantic novel. There was one cover that stood out to him. “ _ What Awaits In the Dark _ ” By William Denbrough. Without a second thought, he picked up the horror novel and gave it a closer look. He turned to the back to see information on the author. “Good for you buddy”, he spoke without meaning to.  _ Wait what. _ He didn’t know anyone named William, let alone a William Denbrough. Where in the world was this feeling of  _ Pride _ coming from?

Eddie flipped through a few pages of the beginning, read the reviews on the back, even read the summary on the inside of the cover. His brain wouldn’t let him let go of the book. Why? Eddie doesn’t read often, let alone reading a horror novel. Myra would have a heart attack if she found Eddie reading this. Maybe that’s what made Eddie carry that book throughout the whole store, and buy it along with a brand new water bottle. 

As he got home he noticed that Myra was out of the house, so he figured he’d try to at least read the brand new book he bought. He’d gotten at least four chapters in when he heard the door open. 

Damn it, Myra was home. He was just getting hooked on the book too! 

Eddie jumped out of the chair he was reading on and rushed to the bedroom to put the book in a box he had hidden away from Myra, the only other things there were a few movies she didn’t like but they were his favorites, so he kept them hidden. 

Over the course of the next few months whenever Eddie would find a book by William Denbrough he would buy it, read a few chapters, then put it in his box. He only ever finished the first one he had bought since he was so invested in it. He didn’t really like the ending, but other then that he enjoyed it. It was getting harder and harder to hide his new novel collection from his wife, one day he decided to hide them in one of his giant suitcases. They never actually went anywhere, so both massive suitcases were practically useless. 

William Denbrough seemed to come out with a book every few months, but Eddie was still finding some of his other works. He never actively seeked them out, but whenever a store had an area for books- Eddie would wander over and check. But he never went to a bookstore or bought them online. 

  
  


**#2 - Ticket**

During month five of collecting books, Eddie now had around eight books hidden away in his suitcase. He had accepted the fact the he bought them for seemingly no reason, it was the only impulse buy he allowed himself. Until one strange day, Eddie had seen an ad for a comedian that was coming to NYC. It had been a rough week at work, and he had some extra money from working overtime. Screw it, why the hell not. Another impulsive purchase here we go! He bought a ticket for himself. The show itself wasn’t till the end of the month but at least he had something different to look forward too. 

The rest of the month went as normal: get up, go to work, stay a bit later because there was too much shit to do, go back home, have dinner while Myra talks about her day and not letting Eddie get a single word in, go to bed, repeat.

A week before the show Eddie came home at the normal time to find a very angry Myra. 

“Who in the world is Richie Tozier!” She glared as soon as he opened the apartment door. 

“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about” Living with Myra was like living with his mother, she was so fucking controlling but Eddie stayed with her. 

  
“I’m talking about” She held up a letter from the company where Eddie had bought his ticket. “This!”. Eddie walked over and took the envelope from her and looked at it closely. 

“Just some comedian, he’s coming to town this weekend and I wanted to see the show” 

“ _ Just some comedian? _ I’ve heard things about that man, and I don’t want you going to see some filthy comedian. We have better things to spend our money on”

“I used my overtime pay for this- it’ll only be for an hour-” Eddie was arguing over wanting to see a comedian that he had never even heard of till a month ago, he didn’t even know why we wanted to go so bad. They continued to argue over the ticket, and even though Eddie had bought it, with his own money, and for himself, Myra tore the ticket up and threw it in the trash. 

“That’s even more of a waste of money!” He exclaimed. Myra didn’t respond she just went back to the bedroom and closed the door. Then Eddie did what he always did when they fought, he grabbed his gym bag, which he kept under the sink because of times like this, and went to the local 24/7 gym. Running on the treadmill helped his mind calm down and it helped him think. He had no idea why he was so hellbent on the idea of going to see this comedian. It the books all over again.  _ Why the hell was he getting so impulsive lately. _

  
  


**#3 - Shirt**

Two months later, the impulsive purchases were getting worse. Well worse for Eddie, because he had no idea why he was doing this.

He was back at the local department store getting some groceries when he found himself wandering around again. He had passed by the clothes section when he found a short sleeved buttoned shirt- with the most horrendous pattern that Eddie had ever seen. It was so ugly that Eddie stared at it for a few minutes. Then just with the books, his mouth spoke before he could think. 

“God, he’d fucking love this”

What. 

_ What _

Who the fuck is _ he _ ??

Eddie tried to think of anyone he knew that would wear such a thing. There was Alice from work who loved oddly patterned things- but Eddie said He. He tried to think of any  _ guy _ that would wear this shirt. No one came to mind.  _ WHO THE FUCK IS HE?  _ Still in a pit of confusion, Eddie walked away from the shirt and resumed what he came here to do. It wasn’t until two days later that he returned to the store after work. He didn’t need anything- so why the hell was he here. 

It was that dumb shirt, something about it wouldn’t let him forget about it. Eddie walked to the clothing section only to find that the shirt from a few days ago was out of stock. A bit of him felt sad and disappointed. He was about to give up on even looking for it when he saw another shirt with an equally horrible pattern. The majority of it was black, covered in random white lines that at first glance looked like trees, but on further inspection they were just random lines all over the shirt. Eddie found his size and bought it. Hopefully buying it would help him understand what the hell was going on. 

Over the course of the next few weeks, whenever Eddie was stressed out. Whether he had a bad day at work or just flat out couldn’t sleep. He throw on the ugly buttoned shirt over his t-shirt and just watch dumb movies. Something about the shirt eased his anxiety. He had no idea why, but he definitely wasn’t complaining. 

One Saturday morning, he woke up before Myra did. He rolled out of bed and went to make coffee. It was a quiet morning already, well as quiet as NYC can be. That silence was broken by Myra yelling. 

“And who’s is this?” She glared at him and held up the buttoned shirt. 

“It’s mine, please don’t yell it's not even nine in the morning” Eddie was half awake, still sipping on his coffee.

“Yours? Why would you waste money on something so hideous!”  
  
“It’s my money Myra, I’m an adult and I'm allowed to spend it as I want to.”

“Not on stuff like this- dark colors don’t look good on you Eddie you know that. I’m throwing it out” She walked over and opened the trash can lid

“Myra what the hell! You can’t just throw away my things like that. I bought this shirt and I’m going to fucking keep it”. Eddie put his mug down so quickly that it nearly spilled over the edge. He rushed over and grabbed it before she could throw it away. He hadn’t had enough coffee to have a filter yet. Myra always hated it when he swore, especially so early in the morning. Eddie held onto the shirt and even put it on right then and there, over the t-shirt he slept in. 

“Eddie we do not use that tone when talking to each other” 

Eddie let out a long sigh as he ran his hands down his face. It was too early to argue about things that didn’t matter. He thought of a joke- well more like a quote from a movie he watched, and with the lack of coffee filter his mouth spoke before he could stop himself. “Myra. _You’re not my fucking mother”. ___  
__  
She gasped in horror at Eddie’s tone of voice, his word choice, she liked nothing about what Eddie said. “Well if you’re going to fight with me, then I’m going out.” She spoke in a huff, disappeared back into the bedroom and came back out some time later dressed and ready. She didn’t even look at Eddie as she walked over to the door and left the apartment. At that point Eddie, had returned to his coffee, letting out a groan as soon as she left. He hated being that guy that didn’t like his wife, but living with Myra was like living with his mother all over again. 

After he had finished his breakfast he walked into the bedroom to get changed, when he noticed a few missing items. __What the hell. He scrambled to pull out his phone and called Myra.   
  
“Did you take my wallet? And- and my car keys? Myra I have work today!” 

“If you aren’t going to be nice today, then you need to stay home until you feel better” 

“Wha-What!? That doesn’t even make sense- are you fucking grounding me?”

“If that's what it takes for you to learn to behave” 

Click.

She hung up on him.  _ What the hell was wrong with her today?  _ Eddie threw his phone onto the bed and groaned even louder. With no car, he could just walk somewhere. NYC was filled with places to go, he only got a car because his job was too far of a walk most days. Then again, with no wallet- going around town was useless. Also his house keys were attached to his car keys.  _ Damn it! _ He was trapped. He called off work, he’d never missed a day before so his boss was happy to let him take a break, and settled on watching TV.

  
  


**#4 - Netflix**

That same day, Eddie tried everything to keep himself busy: watching dumb stuff on cable, reading a bit more of the books he had bought, even cleaning up a bit, but nothing seemed to work for very long. Cable was boring nowadays, cleaning didn’t take long thanks to Myra and him keeping it spotless all year around, he even put down most of the books part of the way through- he was way too stressed for horror right now. He started cycling through the options of entertainment in his brain, when finally he landed on Netflix. It’s probably got a movie he hasn’t seen in years, or a TV show that he’d enjoy. Eddie opened up the app onto his TV, and right there, front and center-  _ “RICHIE TOZIER - TRASHMOUTH TOUR”.  _

“Hmm...sure why the hell not” Eddie shrugged as he clicked play. It was that comedian that Eddie almost got to go see, might as well check out what it was going to be. As Eddie watched the screen he was already starting to critique the strange comedian, even though he had just walked onto the stage. His hair looked like a mop on his head, his glasses were giant- probably to match his big forehead, he looked like he hadn’t slept in days, but other then that he was decent looking. In his own strange way that Eddie didn’t seem to mind. Then came the actual jokes-

_ “So, my girlfriend caught me jerking off to her friend's facebook page, so now I have to go to masturbators anonymous” the crowd laughs at the joke.  _

“What the fuck, that wasn’t even funny- Who even opens a show like that!”

_ “I’ll stand up and say, ‘hello My name is Richie ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier’ and the fun is just beginning”  _

The man went on with his act. Eddie didn’t hear it, he was too busy commentating. “Who the hell calls themself Trashmouth, that’s a dumb name- who even came up with that bullshit, maybe it is a good that that I didn’t go. What the hell am I watching.” When Eddie resumes his attention, the comedian is on another tangent.

_ “It’s really fun to fuck with people- I just want to go to an airport, stand in front of a person who is waiting for their flight, and stare at them until they notice you are there. When they look at you, just say "Don't get on the flight" and walk away. You know they're sitting there going "I don't think I should get on this fucking flight.. I think an angel just told me not to get on this flight.. Thank you angel wearing jeans!" how fucking funny would that be?” the crowd continues to laugh. _

Eddie has to think for a moment, but then he chuckled quietly- okay maybe this guy wasn’t so bad. The show goes on, Eddie manages to keep quiet for a few minutes, besides a few small laughs here and there.

_ “So after the Facebook incident, I got dumped which was fine- I honestly don’t even remember her name. Last week I went on a date” the crowd laughs, “Yeah no that is funny- Trashmouth Tozier actually went to a date that wasn’t a strip club.” More laugh. “So things are going good, I invite her back to my place, or as I call it, the "Death Star." I'm still working on it, it's not completely operational. She takes one look around asks if a rabid raccoon stormed through here and I just say- ‘You get with the Trashmouth you gotta accept the whole dumpster too’” The crowd erupts with laughter.  _

“What the hell Trashmouth- that was stupid, even for you-” Not again. He didn’t know this man, nor his actual sense of humor. Eddie just knew in his gut that these jokes and words were all a premade script for someone who was trying too hard to appease the masses. Why did Eddie know that? These past few months have been so damn stressful for him- he didn’t even know why. Eddie shook his head, hoping to get rid of the thoughts, and continued to watch the show. Without really meaning to, his hands went up to the collar on the patterned shirt, he pulled it closer around him and clung to the fabric. Something about this dumb shirt made him feel calm. 

Around an hour passes and Tozier says one of his last few jokes. 

_ “I told my mom that this tour was going to be on Netflix, like a movie. And she tells me “Fuck that and fuck your movies! It's ridiculous, the whole idea of it! It's just wrong and fake and no!" What the hell? Who doesn't like movies? Who has ever said that before? Well at least now I know I'm not the family disappointment- that would be my mom for not liking movies. Thank you and goodnight!” Cheers rang out as the credits began to roll.  _

Eddie stopped the program before Netflix did it’s autoplay thing. He had laughed a few times, mainly at the stupidity of it all. Richie Tozier wasn’t funny, not at all. So why in the world was Eddie now checking to see it Richie had more Netflix specials. He did- One other one. Eddie clicked, and watched. 

**#5 - Divorce**

Myra came home late that night, Eddie stayed on the couch and left for work early. He was getting a little restless lately, ever since their argument over that dumb shirt. Another impulsive idea had showed up in his brain. He was conflicted about it, it sounded like a good idea, but what would be the consequences. Before arriving to work he pulled into the parking lot of a rather intimidating building. 

He was going to file for a divorce. 

He couldn’t stand how he was living. He wasn’t happy, Myra clearly wasn’t either. Nothing about their relationship was good. 

After speaking to a very kind woman and getting all the correct papers. He knew he’d have to talk to Myra about it- but first he had to go to work. The work day itself was fine, he worked like normal, he actually finished up earlier than he thought and his boss let him go home early again. Driving home was the weird thing. 

Myra had called him three times to tell him not to drive until the roads stopped being slick, even though it had stopped raining hours ago. He hung up after dealing with her, and answered an unknown number.

“Hello, Edward Kaspbrak speaking” He put on his best customer service voice. 

“Eddie? It’s Mike. From Derry.” The voice on the other end was calm, and incredibly familiar. Yet he didn’t know where he’d heard that voice before

“Mike…? S-sorry you might have the wrong numbe-” His cherry customer service voice faded fast as memories started to flood back. Memories of a shitty town in Maine, riding bikes in the sun, the feeling of laughing and having fun, and calling someone a trashmouth. “ _ Holy shit Mike?” _

_ “ _ I need you to come back”

“Right ...uh...How soon?”

“Tonight if at all possible, I need your help with something”

Eddie said okay and ended the call,  _ Holy shit Holy shit Holy shit _ . Everything was beginning to make sense, barely. He couldn’t think straight, he had so much to fucking do. He nearly sped home, to where Myra was quietly watching an old drama on TV. 

“Hi Eddie-bear how was work?” She smiled at him, like the day before didn’t happen. Eddie shrugged and walked back to the bedroom, he started pulling out his two large suitcases and shoving everything he owned into them. Which compared to the whole apartment, wasn’t much. He grabbed his clothes, the books he’d already been hiding from Myra, his stuff from the bathroom, the few things from his old apartment before Myra. He really only had one suitcase worth of stuff. He decided to ditch the other empty one and not bother with it. 

“Where do you think you’re going” She was smiling, but it was condescending. 

“Derry” He spoke simply, continuing to fold his shirts and place them neatly in the suitcase. 

“Derry? Where in the world is that? And why? It’s not good to go on surprise trips when the weather's like this”

“Derry is where I grew up...family emergency.” His only family was his mother, who had passed away a while ago. 

“Eddie-Bear you don’t have any family” 

“No. No. I do and they need my help.” He finished packing up and walked past her, suitcase in hand. 

“Now wait just a minute Eddie! You can’t just leave like this without a proper explanation! You’re not going anywhere, I won’t let you”

“I’m going to Derry, and i’m leaving you. For good. I’ve already filed for a divorce” He didn’t know where this new found courage was, but he knew it was the correct thing to do at the time. 

“You can’t just leave me like this! I am your wife!”

“I’m not happy here, and I know you aren’t either. I know you bring other people over to the house when I’m at work. You go through all my shit, pick at everything like that I have a slight interest in that you don’t, you don’t let me have anything for myself, you treat me like a child. Myra, I can’t stand this apartment anymore. I’ll send you the papers to sign once I get another address.” He grabbed the last of his things, took off his ring and placed in the bowl meant for keys, and left that apartment for the last time. For the first time in a while, Eddie felt brave and proud of his choices. He knew that what he was doing was the correct idea, he just wished that his other unexplained impulse decisions would be explained soon. As well as his new found bravery. 

  
  


  * ****1 - Kiss****

He had arrived in Derry. Everything stunk the same way it used to, everything felt similar yet very different. Eddie walked into the restaurant, not knowing what he was doing exactly. He explained his dietary restrictions to the waitress, who already looked very tired of him, but he kept talking only to be cut off at the sight of the two already at the table.   
  
“Holy shit” His hands dropped to his sides.

“Eddie!” one of them smiled at him- Mike. Holy shit Mike Hanlon. More memories flooded back as Mike walked up to give him a short hug. He seemed excited to see everyone again, and a part of Eddie was too. Eddie looked over at the other man, a name on the tip of his tongue. But before he could open his mouth, the loud sound of a gong rang out behind him. Everyone turned to look at the source of the sound, to see a tall guy with messy hair and glasses, a woman with red hair, and another tall man who looked like a damn model. The one with glasses pointed at the model guy and mouthed the word Ben. Ben.  _ Holy shit Ben? How could he forget Ben? And-  _ Eddie looked around at everyone, the names finally coming back.  _ Richie, Bev. and Bill. God he is terrible with names _ .

Everyone sat down, ready to eat- everyone was acting like they hadn’t just forgotten about each other for 27 years. Eddie listened intently to everyone, more things were starting to click in his brain. The books, the ticket, the shirt, those stupid netflix specials, even the reason he filed for a divorce. Everything made sense- and holy shit most of those things have to do with Richie. 

He turned to Richie, he still looked a mess like he did on all those shows. Looking at Richie was just confusing him more and more. He missed Richie when he didn’t even know it. Eddie had nearly gone to see his best friends comedy show even when he didn’t remember who Richie was. He tried not to blush thinking about the shirt that he held so close, or about how often he watched those stupid Netflix specials. So he did what any confused person would do around friends, he started to get a little drunk. Maybe with some alcohol in his system, he wouldn’t think as much. 

\----

A long day and a fight with a killer clown that nearly got him killed later. The losers were all back at the town house. They had celebrated the defeat of IT, and were planning on staying just one night more and then leave in the morning. They had all planned on staying in touch and meeting up later under better circumstances. 

Eddie was sat in his room, staring at the ceiling. He had gotten into his pajamas, which was a large t-shirt, the patterned shirt unbuttoned, and some flannel pants. He couldn’t sleep They were all going to go home in the morning. He hadn’t told anyone about the divorce or the fact that he didn’t have a home to go back to. The last thing he wanted to do was to worry his friends. Maybe he could stay with Richie, he  _ wanted _ to stay with Richie. He missed his favorite idiot so much that even without memories, Eddie was trying to remember him. Richie wouldn’t leave his head, but he didn’t want to pry and be annoying about it. Richie wouldn’t mind if he crashed with him for a bit right?

Fuck it.

He got up and walked to Richie’s room. When he reached his hand up to knock the door opened already. 

“...Eddie?” Richie was standing in the doorway, wearing a hoodie and some shorts. His hair an absolute mess, and still wet from the shower. 

“Uh...Hi.” Eddie dropped his hand. “Can I come in?”

“Sure, I guess…” Richie stepped to the side, he sounded as unsure as Eddie felt about this. Eddie sat down on the foot of Richies bed as Richie closed the door. “Everything okay Eds?”

“Can I stay with you?” He blurted out, looking down at his hands. Richie rose an eyebrow and sat on the bed across from him, leaning on the headboard.

“Getting nightmares already?”

“No- well maybe. I haven’t actually tried to sleep yet. But...I’m asking if I can live with you-”

“Woah woah? You want to live with me? That’s a hell of a bomb to drop on someone less than 12 hours before they leave”

“Just fucking listen to me okay. I did something before leaving New York, and now I have no house to go back to.” 

“Eds...did you...did you divorce your wife?” Richie looked him with an emotion that Eddie couldn’t read, Eddie just nodded. “Holy shit man”

“I was filing for it just before Mike called- and after the call I knew that it was the correct thing to do- god damnit I’ve been getting so fucking impulsive lately. And you’re mostly to blame for it! Well not entirely because I have at least eight of Bills books and I’ve only read half of one- but you. You mother fucker- you- I couldn’t get you out of my head. But it wasn’t even you! It was just a stupid feeling that I couldn’t shake. I bought a ticket to your stupid show in New York. I bought this dumb shirt and for some unexplainable reason it helped me calm down when I was stressed or panicking and I only now realize its because you wear dumb shirts all the time- I even watched your Netflix specials, complained the entire time about how unfunny you were but I still watched all of them all the time. Damn it Richie. I didn’t even know why I was doing all of that till I saw your face again- and those feelings are just stronger and I dont know what to fucking do about it-” Eddie was rambling, talking a mile a minute like he used to always do. Richie ended up cutting him off. 

“Eddie, I love you” Richie seemed to blurt it out, looking directly into Eddie’s eyes. Eddie finally shut up, and looked back into Richie's eyes. Eddie just stared back at him, trying to understand what he just said. 

“Did...did you just say...that you love...me?” He could hardly get the words out, trying to process his own feelings at the same time as Richies. All these feelings he had been having these last few days. Looking at Richie right now, everything seemed to make sense.

Richie just nodded in response, looking down at the floor. His face looked worried. “Sorry...It just came out- It’s just been a long day and I was actually about to go and talk to you and everything then you came to me first-” 

Eddie reached out and squeezed his hand. “Richie”

“Y-yeah Eds” He looked up at Eddie, putting on a nervous smile. Only for the nervous smile to be distributed when Eddie put his lips on his. Richie’s lips were slightly chapped, but it still felt comfortable against Eddie’s soft ones. The kiss was sweet and short, even so it had so much feeling within it. As Eddie pulled away he kept his hand on Richies. Richie’s face was light shade of pink. 

“I think...that I love you too” Eddie was smiling. Kissing Richie was the best impulsive choice he’s made in his entire life. 

That night was the best night Eddie had had in years. It was just the two of them. They had talked for most of the night, cuddled up to each other. Richie was tall and bigger than Eddie, so Eddie fit just like a puzzle piece with his head on Richies chest, big arms holding him close. Everything made perfect sense now. His feelings wouldn’t let him let go of Richie, even when his brain did. The shirt, the netflix specials, the ticket, even divorcing Myra was all Richie’s fault. Eddie Kaspbrak was gay and in love with his best friend, and his best friend loved him back. 

“Hey Eds?” Richie looked down with a smile, and Eddie knew that smile. A terrible joke was on it’s way and nothing could stop it. 

“Yes Richie?”

“Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine?”

“Did it- what?”

“Because you’re looking a whole ass snack in that shirt”

Eddie let out a sigh which quickly turned into a laugh. He really had to go and fall in love with a comedian didn’t he.


End file.
